grief – A Drug Named Hope

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A Drug Named Hope

There is life after baby loss

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The sweet ain’t so sweet without the bitter

August 29, 2019 — 0 Comments

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This blog is an insight into the secret world of miscarriage, told by an insider who knows the subject all too well.

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"1 in 4 pregnancies end in loss and of these a staggering 71% of parents are not given a medical reason for their miscarriage, stillbirth or premature birth. Without this, parents, particularly women, blame themselves. We need more research to find out the reasons why."⁣ ⁣ Today @tommys_thebabycharity launched a new campaign #tellmewhy calling for more research into why a pregnancy has ended in a loss. ⁣ ⁣ Follow the campaign, watch the video, sign the petition, donate to the research. Show your support (link below) 🙏 ⁣ ⁣ Parents deserve to know why their baby died ⁣❤ ⁣ www.tommys.org/our-research/tell-me-why⁣ ⁣ ⁣ #miscarriageawareness ⁣ #stillbirthawareness ⁣ #pretermlabourawareness⁣ #breakthesilence ⁣ #1in4 ⁣ #iam1in4 ⁣ #stillataboo ⁣ #tommys_thebabycharity ⁣ #tellmewhy ⁣ #aDrugNamedHope

Embrace and celebrate new beginnings.⁣ ⁣ I've seen lots of posts today from parents whose children are going back to school or starting school. I heard messages of anxiety, fear, uncertainty, but also excitement, energy and in some cases sheer relief for the kids to be back at school!⁣ ⁣ The start of something new always brings a combination of nerves and excitement, but it is also a time for new challenges, new opportunities and new connections if we allow them in.⁣ ⁣ I too reflect on a new beginning today. A new friendship that's appeared amidst the tragedy of baby loss. A new connection with the beautiful soul Kajal of @aurelias_wish ⁣ I mark this new friendship with bucketfuls of love and bags of excitement! And I can't wait to see where this new beginning takes us. ⁣ ⁣ Our girls in Heaven did good 🙏❤🌟⁣ ⁣ #stillbirth ⁣ #stillataboo ⁣ #breakthesilence ⁣ #miscarriageawareness ⁣ #babylossawareness ⁣ #iam1in4 ⁣ #angelbabies⁣ #standtogether⁣ #sistersquad ⁣ #supporteachother ⁣ #ivegotyourback⁣ #leanbackivegotyou⁣ #findyourflock⁣ #neverlosehope ⁣ #seekthelight⁣ #embracethechange⁣ #seetheopportunity⁣ #createconnections⁣ #aDrugNamedHope

What a difference a day makes. ⁣ ⁣ Today, the 3rd anniversary of Jiya's due date and we had the most beautiful day, honouring our daughter in Heaven. ⁣ ⁣ We visited the memorial tree at Ray Mill Island, had a picnic and Simran released a balloon for her big sister. My heart burst when Simran suddenly shouted "come back!" She was talking to the balloon. I pictured Jiya. ⁣ ⁣ A truly precious day. And as I reflect, I end the day honouring the calm, accepting sense of gratitude in my heart 🙏❤🙏⁣ ⁣ #saytheirnames ⁣ #breakthesilence ⁣ #angelbaby ⁣ #berkshiresands⁣ #honourthememory⁣ #miscarriage ⁣ #recurrentmiscarriage ⁣ #stillbirth ⁣ #stillataboo ⁣ #lifeafterbabyloss ⁣ #neverlosehope ⁣ #gratefulheart #seethelesson #ownthejourney #ownyourstory⁣ #aDrugNamedHope

The sweet ain’t so sweet without the bitter⁣ ⁣ This time of year has become a slightly bitter sweet period for me.⁣ ⁣ Two weeks ago I attended the SANDS annual picnic at Ray Mill Island. I looked at my angel baby Jiya's leaf on the memorial tree and remembered my 6 other little angels who came before her. Then a few days later I celebrated National Rainbow Baby Day with my rainbow baby Simran.⁣ ⁣ Tomorrow is the 3rd anniversary of Jiya's due date. A long awaited day that never came because she was born sleeping 3 months earlier. And just 2 days later we will be celebrating Simran's 2nd birthday. Her birth, a dream come true.⁣ ⁣ I’ve been feeling somewhat conflicted over the last few weeks, not really sure which emotions to process. The grief and sadness or the happiness and gratitude? I was conscious that by being with my grief and sadness I felt like I was being ungrateful for the blessings I had been given and that being with my happiness and gratitude I felt guilty for not honouring my losses. Catch 22. So I didn’t fully accept either emotion.⁣ ⁣ I knew I needed to confront this. So today I took a day off from everything and declared a ‘me’ day. I just wandered and pondered around town doing things I enjoying and just allowed the lesson and learning to unfold before me.⁣ ⁣ The lesson I was reminded of was this:⁣ 💥Happiness and sadness.⁣ 💥Birth and death.⁣ 💥Success and failure.⁣ 💥Good health and suffering.⁣ 💥Love and heartbreak.⁣ 💥Light and darkness.⁣ They are two sides of the same coin.⁣ You can’t have one without the other.⁣ They come as a pair.⁣ If we are to enjoy the good side of the coin, we must also be prepared to accept the more painful side of the coin too. ⁣ ⁣ So today, I honoured the sadness and loss. I gave thanks for the joy and blessings. I accepted both into my heart and there they shall remain as a constant reminder of the delicate balance of all things in life 🙏❤⁣ ⁣ #miscarriageawareness ⁣ #latemiscarriage⁣ #stillbirth ⁣ #stillbirthawareness ⁣ #stillataboo ⁣ #breakthesilence ⁣ #babylossawareness ⁣ #1in4 ⁣ #iam1in4 ⁣ #angelbaby⁣ #rainbowbaby ⁣ #saytheirnames ⁣ #mblogger ⁣ #pblogger ⁣ #motherhoodunplugged ⁣ #aDrugNamedHope

You can’t have a rainbow without a little rain 🌈 ⁣ When you’re in the midst of a storm, you can often wonder whether clear skies will ever come. This is how I felt when I experienced miscarriage after miscarriage. I wondered if I would ever experience the beauty of the rainbow after my storm.⁣ ⁣ ~~~~~~~~~⁣ ⁣ I once felt like I was in the eye of the storm. A never ending storm.⁣ Raging around me. Throwing me off course, time and time again.⁣ ⁣ The worst part was, no one else could see it.⁣ No one else knew it was taking all of my strength to just stay standing as the storm threatened to consume all parts of my being.⁣ ⁣ I feared it would never end.⁣ I kept all hope that it would. End. Someday. Someday soon.⁣ ⁣ Eventually. Against all odds, that day came.⁣ The ravaging storm just lost its power. It stopped encircling me. It let me out of its clutches.⁣ ⁣ I finally put weight on my own feet and stood on solid ground.⁣ The storm had done some damage that was for sure, but I stood stable, centred and grounded.⁣ ⁣ Then as I came up to breathe and bring my world back into focus.⁣ I saw it. I saw the gift that was my rainbow.⁣ ⁣ Initially unsure if it was real or if I was dreaming.⁣ Eventually realising it was real, very real.⁣ ⁣ My very own rainbow, to admire, cherish and nurture.⁣ A beautiful, living, breathing reminder to never lose hope.⁣🌈🙏❤ ⁣ #nationalrainbowbabyday ⁣ #22august ⁣ #rainbowbaby🌈 ⁣ #babylossawareness ⁣ #endthesilence ⁣ #1in4 ⁣ #iam1in4 ⁣ #miscarriagematters ⁣ #miscarriageawareness ⁣ #stillbirthawareness ⁣ #sandscharity ⁣ #sands ⁣ #tommys_thebabycharity ⁣ #lifeafterloss ⁣ #lifeafterbabyloss ⁣ #neverlosehope ⁣ #rainbowafterthestorm ⁣ #motherhoodunplugged ⁣ #mblogger ⁣ #pblogger ⁣ #aDrugNamedHope

Today is National Rainbow Baby Day🌈. This day has many meanings for me, so… 🥳 I wish to CELEBRATE all babies born after the raging storm of miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death and infant loss. You are miracles and living proof that there is light, colour and beauty at the end of a storm and to never lose hope of the day when the storm passes by. 🙌 I wish to HONOUR the baby/babies that came before. You have not been replaced by your rainbow sibling. You stand in your own right, in your own light, at the heart of your family. You changed their world, you opened their hearts and you left footprints that no one can ever erase. 🙏 I also wish to ACKNOWLEDGE all who are still in the clutches of that raging storm and who await their rainbow. You may be feeling tired, bruised and on the verge of hopelessness – I hear you and stand with you. My wish is that your storm may lose its power. And for those who seek it, that your rainbow will arrive one day soon. Never lose hope. ❤🌈 Below I honour my angel and my rainbow. Feel free to do the same with the name and date of your 👼 and/or 🌈 and tag someone who needs to hear this today 🙏🙏🙏 we stand together. #nationalrainbowbabyday #22august #rainbowbaby🌈 #babylossawareness #endthesilence #1in4 #iam1in4 #miscarriagematters #miscarriageawareness #stillbirthawareness #sandscharity #sands #tommys_thebabycharity #lifeafterloss #neverlosehope #rainbowafterthestorm #motherhoodunplugged #mblogger #pblogger #aDrugNamedHope

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