“Is it because you did…?”⁠⁣
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NO! ⁠⁣
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Just no!⁠⁣
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Nothing that the person did caused them to lose their baby. ⁠⁣
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❌ It wasn’t the hot shower they took. ⁣
❌ It wasn’t going to work or going to the gym. ⁣
❌ It wasn’t the 3 hour drive or the flight they took. ⁣
❌ It wasn’t because they announced their pregnancy or bought a baby grow before the 12-week stage and jinxed the pregnancy. ⁠⁣
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It. Wasn’t. Anything. They. Did.⁠⁣
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If you feel remotely tempted to ask such a question know that this is inadvertently pointing the finger at the person who is grieving and hurting right now. In a roundabout way it’s telling them that they did something wrong and that they are to blame. ⁠⁣
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This blame game only serves to trample on an already broken and extremely fragile heart.⁠⁣
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And truth be told, the person who has just lost their baby is probably analysing every little thing they did…worrying, stressing, questioning, going out of their mind with ‘what ifs’. ⁣
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Let’s not add unnecessary fuel to these thoughts 🙏⁣
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Coming next time – what you might want to say instead…⁠